I haven't done this on this blog before, I usually save this kind of writing for my journal. Today I wanted to share it with you because I'm realizing how important it is for me to be as transparent as possible. I want to share my stories with you so you know that you can make your life what you want it to be!
Today I felt the urge to Free Write and this is what came out...
How can I stop myself, from blocking myself, until I know that I'm blocking myself?
But then when I know, I have to sit with it and feel it's density pressing against my dreams, threatening to permeate. I have a choice. Do I push through it?? OR... Decide to back away? ...Again...
Why wouldn't I just go for it? Why wouldn't I just do it?
It's scary? It's unknown? It feels uncomfortable? It's uncertain? I'm vulnerable? I don't know what I'm doing yet? I might make a mistake? I probably WILL make a mistake! It's new after all. That would be embarrassing...to make a mistake. Wouldn't want to do anything new just in case I looked stupid doing it! Who would think I look stupid? Does it matter anyway????? NO!!!! HELL NO!!!! I have to just do it!!!!!!!!!
I can't even spend another minute worrying about what anyone else might think but me! I have to go out there and DO what I'm being PULLED to do and stop being afraid of it! I need to step into the FLOW of ALLOWING it and ENJOY the ride!!! Why can't I enjoy the ride?
I do enjoy the ride! So much more than before. But I still shrink it back, wonder if this is too good to be true. Wonder if I can really do it all. How can I allow such love and beauty in my life when so many others are suffering? When is the other shoe gonna drop? When will the bubble be burst? All this good stuff, when is the bad gonna show up?
The truth is, it's already here. There's always good and bad present. Highs and lows. Light and darkness. They're always here at the same time. So don't rob your own joy anymore!! Quit allowing the worry! It's a done deal! I can do it! God is leading the way! I am being Divinely Guided! I can't ask for it everyday and think it's not working, I have to TRUST that this is all happening for me so I can be the VERY BEST I can BE!!! It can be as good as I let it be. ALL signs are pointing...Step Into Your Light!!!!!
Let it shine as bright as you can and THIS is how you will help others step into theirs!
Anything else? No. I think that's it for now!
Love to You!!